Chapter 1: The Power of Tears

I woke up feeling down; the joy I had yesterday seemed to vanish. If our minds operated like Riley's from the film Inside Out, Sadness would be piloting the ship, occasionally joined by Anger and Disgust. I moved through my day mechanically, striving not to snap at those around me. It felt like one of those days where everything goes wrong.

"It's time," I told myself.

As evening approached, I opted for a movie that would surely evoke strong emotions and allow me to cry. Films like Titanic and The Vow are excellent choices. Snuggled up with some comfort food, I decided on The Vow, a guaranteed tear-jerker. After two hours and several bags of chips, I concluded both the film and my crying session.

Yes, I deliberately set aside time in my day to cry, and I do this frequently. It's a self-care ritual I’ve established for myself. Crying genuinely makes me feel better.

Humans experience a vast array of emotions, including sadness, guilt, regret, grief, and loss. Tears are a natural physiological reaction to these challenging feelings. As infants, we cry often. However, as we grow older, society conditions us to believe that crying is inappropriate, especially in public or work settings. We attempt to conceal our tears, fearing embarrassment or appearing weak.

Men, in particular, are often affected by societal gender roles. From a young age, they learn that tears signify weakness, reinforcing the idea that "real men don’t cry." In moments of heightened emotion, we either suppress our feelings or express them.

"You are too emotional," is a common refrain we hear when we do cry.

Most people dislike crying, especially in front of others. Many of us avoid shedding tears out of shame for being vulnerable or showing our emotions. If you find yourself in this category, you might be overlooking the significant health benefits that come from allowing yourself to cry.

Why do we cry? Human beings produce three distinct types of tears: - Basal: These are the basic functional tears that are continuously produced in small amounts to keep the cornea moist and combat bacterial infections. - Reflex: These tears are triggered by irritants such as dust, onions, or bright lights. Their primary role is to protect the eyes. - Emotional tears: Triggered by intense feelings such as stress, anger, grief, happiness, or physical pain, these tears help stabilize mood and are accompanied by physiological changes like increased heart rate and slowed breathing.

When we talk about crying, we're primarily referring to emotional tears. Unlike basal or reflex tears, emotional tears contain stress hormones and toxins, which can lead to a sense of relief post-cry.

How does crying assist in processing emotions? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, a good cry might be precisely what you need. Some psychologists argue that suppressing tears can have negative consequences on emotional health.

In Japan, crying is embraced as beneficial. Special crying clubs, known as "Rui-katsu," have emerged in Tokyo, where adults gather to cry in public as a stress release method. These clubs create safe spaces for individuals who struggle to express their emotions, often watching tear-jerker films to facilitate sobbing.

This mirrors my own self-care practice (though I prefer my sob sessions in private). Since crying alleviates stress, it serves as an excellent practice for maintaining good mental health.

The Therapeutic Aspects of Crying

Crying is a form of self-expression. It indicates that you are experiencing something profound, whether joy or sorrow, allowing your feelings to be acknowledged. It also acts as a self-soothing mechanism, enabling you to release pent-up emotions and frustrations, which leads to a relaxing effect.

A 2014 study found that crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), reducing muscle tension and calming the body.

The Healing Process

Crying enables your body to engage in its healing process by lowering your defenses. Being open about your feelings can be a healthy and positive experience. Emotional tears also release oxytocin and endorphins, which can numb pain and alleviate stress by countering cortisol, the stress hormone. These "feel-good" chemicals help promote relaxation and can even induce sleep.

You may have noticed that you often feel better after a good cry. Shedding tears releases stress hormones and toxins from your system while also releasing endorphins, enhancing your mood by lowering stress and blood pressure.

Crying can also signal to others that you need help. This interpersonal benefit fosters connection and empathy from those close to you. It aids in restoring emotional balance, as tears may occur during both happy and sad moments, indicating the body's attempt to maintain emotional stability.

Moreover, crying can fortify relationships. Being vulnerable in front of others fosters intimacy, indicating that you feel safe and comfortable enough to express your emotions.

"Crying with someone is more healing than crying alone." – Regina Brett

While crying is a natural expression with numerous therapeutic benefits, it’s important to recognize when it becomes excessive. If you find yourself crying constantly or for no apparent reason, it could indicate a deeper issue, such as depression. If these feelings persist for longer than two weeks or interfere with your daily life, seeking professional help may be advisable.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, instead of bottling it up, consider letting it all out. Find a safe environment or confide in a trusted friend. When the urge to cry arises, a supportive shoulder can be incredibly comforting. Alternatively, grab your favorite tear-jerker film and let the tears flow—you’ll likely feel much better afterward.

Crying is not a sign of being overly sensitive or too emotional. During uncertain times, it's natural for stress and emotions to heighten. Prioritizing self-care is a strength, not a weakness. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

So let the tears flow, and allow those endorphins to work their magic.

Chapter 2: The Benefits of Crying

In How To Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You | The Mel Robbins Podcast, the discussion centers around the importance of emotional release and the necessity of letting go for mental well-being.

In the music video for James Bay - Let It Go, the theme of emotional release and the struggle of letting go is beautifully captured, resonating with the importance of embracing one's feelings.