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Empower Yourself: 3 Steps to Live Life on Your Own Terms

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Chapter 1: Understanding Personal Freedom

Living life according to your own standards is about embracing the freedom to pursue what you desire when you choose. This concept can manifest in various ways. Here are a few illustrations of what it means to live on your own terms:

  • Initiating a daily yoga practice to enhance your physical and mental well-being.
  • Seeking new employment because your current job no longer fulfills your needs.
  • Returning to education to advance your career prospects.

Each of these examples exemplifies the essence of living authentically.

Section 1.1: The Journey Begins

At 28, I held a position as a groundskeeper in a mixed-income apartment complex with upscale amenities. While others enjoyed the comfort of the indoors, I toiled outside in the sweltering summer heat. One day, while picking up litter, the oppressive heat became unbearable. I had invested so much effort into impressing my supervisor, determined to secure my temporary position, that I neglected my own well-being.

As I sat on the steps to escape the sun, I feared my supervisor might discover me; fortunately, he didn’t. He ultimately insisted that I take a break, leaving me with feelings of insignificance. I realized I was prioritizing others' approval over my own needs—an instance of people pleasing that hindered my personal growth.

Section 1.2: Breaking Free from People Pleasing

To live life on your own terms, the first step is to stop seeking approval from others. Reflecting on my experience, I should have considered whether my actions were truly in my best interest. Asking yourself, “What do I truly want?” is a powerful starting point.

If self-inquiry feels daunting, try taking three deep breaths to calm your mind. Assess the situation, and then brainstorm three potential solutions. This approach fosters problem-solving skills and empowers you to take charge.

Chapter 2: Overcoming Inner Obstacles

The video "Living Life on Your Own Terms & Avoiding a Life of Quiet Desperation" by Ayodeji Awosika delves into the significance of prioritizing your own desires and living authentically. It offers insights into breaking free from societal constraints that often lead to dissatisfaction.

Section 2.1: Conquering Your Inner Critic

We often battle what is colloquially known as the "monkey on your back," that inner voice that tells you that you are incapable, that success is too challenging, or that it will take too long. Overcoming this inner critic involves challenging these negative thoughts.

When a harsh self-judgment arises, practice halting that thought and replace it with a positive affirmation. Remind yourself of your capabilities and the amazing things you can achieve.

Section 2.2: Cultivating Focus

Another essential step is to eliminate distractions and concentrate on your goals. Dedicate 15 minutes to an hour each day to envision the person you wish to become and what that entails.

Consider taking a break from social media for three months. Use app blockers and get someone to set a password so you can reflect on your daily experiences in a journal. By eliminating the noise and addictive habits of social media, you’ll create space to genuinely live life on your own terms.

In summary, don’t allow people-pleasing tendencies, distractions, or negative self-talk to impede your journey toward living authentically.

You may also enjoy reading:

  • "How To Achieve Your Best Life: Fixing Your Life in 10 Days" | by iits_samii | Small Steps | Jun, 2024 | Medium
  • "You’re Manifesting Wrong: 6 Small Steps to Manifesting the Right Way" | by 1 Minute Read | Small Steps | Jul, 2024 | Medium
  • "Are You Living Someone Else’s Life?" | by Colleen M. Story | Small Steps | Medium

The second video, "Live Life on Your Own Terms - Ep. 1," explores practical strategies for living authentically and making empowered choices.

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