# Rethinking Compliments: Why Praising Weight Loss Can Harm
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Chapter 1: The Weight of Words
Yesterday, while browsing Reddit, I stumbled upon a troubling post about actress Sasha Pieterse, famously recognized for her role as Alison DiLaurentis in Pretty Little Liars. A user shared a photo of her and exclaimed, “Look at Sasha’s weight loss! It’s incredible! She looks amazing!”
At first glance, this comment appears to be a kind-hearted acknowledgment. However, upon closer inspection, it reveals a deeper societal issue: the pervasive fatphobia that often goes unchallenged. This comment also highlights a lack of understanding about the complexities of weight loss, as many rush to applaud without considering the circumstances behind it.
“It reflects how little people actually understand about weight loss, and how quick they are to praise it without questioning how it might’ve been achieved.”
Section 1.1: Understanding the Unseen Causes of Weight Gain
Sasha Pieterse faced intense scrutiny when she gained approximately 70 pounds in the late 2010s. Critics flooded her social media with rude comments, speculating on her body and even suggesting she was pregnant. This public ridicule took a toll on her.
Eventually, Pieterse revealed that her weight gain was due to polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a condition she was diagnosed with after experiencing these changes. PCOS is a hormone disorder that affects around 12% of women in the U.S. and can lead to a myriad of symptoms, including weight gain, acne, and infertility. This condition is entirely out of one’s control, making the judgment she faced all the more unjust.
Section 1.2: The Challenges of Weight Loss with PCOS
For many struggling with PCOS, shedding pounds can be a formidable challenge. While some hormone-related weight issues can be managed with medication, PCOS currently lacks a definitive cure or effective treatment. This means individuals grappling with significant weight gain may find it nearly impossible to return to their previous weight.
Chapter 2: The Risks of Complimenting Weight Loss
When Pieterse lost weight in 2022, I felt a twinge of concern. In 2017, she had shared her struggles with PCOS and emphasized her desire to embrace her body, regardless of its changes. Given that she had also welcomed two children during this time, it seemed unlikely that weight loss would be her primary focus.
A Reddit post showed her looking remarkably slender, reminiscent of her earlier years on the show. This transformation raised questions for me. What methods did she employ to achieve this change? I hoped it wasn’t through extreme dieting or a harsh exercise regime. Ultimately, I realized that her weight journey is not my concern.
Section 2.1: Boundaries in Conversations About Weight
While we can express care for others, it's essential to respect their autonomy. Everyone has their reasons for gaining or losing weight, and it’s not our place to comment. If Pieterse were a close friend, I might feel compelled to check in on her, but she isn’t.
If someone expresses concern over their weight, it’s vital to approach the topic with sensitivity and respect. We should allow individuals to set their boundaries and share their experiences at their own pace.
Chapter 3: The Harmful Nature of Weight Loss Compliments
Most compliments about weight loss can carry an undercurrent of fatphobia. For instance, saying, “You look amazing after losing weight!” can imply that the person was unworthy of praise in their previous state. Such comments often mask a lack of appreciation for the individual’s worth beyond their appearance.
We rarely hear affirmations like, “You gained weight, and you look fantastic!” This disparity highlights a societal bias against larger bodies. By continuing to make comments about weight loss without recognizing their harmful implications, we perpetuate fatphobia and double standards.
Section 3.1: Celebrating Health Over Appearance
Instead of focusing solely on weight, we should celebrate individuals for their overall well-being. I have a family member who lost weight healthily after being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Rather than commenting on his appearance, I highlighted how healthy and joyful he seemed.
We should strive to compliment behaviors and feelings rather than focusing on physical changes. This shift in perspective fosters a more supportive environment, allowing individuals to define their self-worth.
Chapter 4: A Call for Change
Ultimately, weight is a personal matter, and unsolicited comments from strangers only serve to undermine an individual’s autonomy. We must refrain from discussing others' weight, especially if we don’t have a close relationship.
If someone’s weight changes and they view it positively, it’s crucial to frame our compliments in a way that emphasizes their health and happiness rather than their appearance. Should we notice concerning weight fluctuations, we should approach with care and respect, allowing individuals to dictate the conversation.
In conclusion, it’s time to move away from harmful discussions about weight and embrace a healthier, more compassionate approach to body image and self-worth. Let’s prioritize well-being over numbers and be mindful of the impact our words can have on others.