Chapter 1: A Surprising Engagement

As I stepped off the elevator onto my college floor, the incessant ringing of a wall phone echoed from one of the rooms. It was my phone. I rushed to unlock the door and grabbed the receiver.

"YOU'RE ENGAGED?" my mother shouted on the other end.

Oh no!

Mom was furious that I hadn't shared the news with her directly and was even more upset that I had accepted the proposal.

"You barely know this guy! You shouldn’t sacrifice your college for a boy! Why the rush? He's only pushing for this because he’s graduating soon and wants a wife."

Her words left me questioning my decision, and anxiety mounted as I processed her admonitions. I realized I was in dire need of some guidance to calm my nerves.

When my parents dropped me off at college that September, my father handed me a Bible and said, "Turn to this for guidance when you need it." It was a sleek black hardcover Good News for Modern Man New Testament, designed for easy reading.

Finally, someone had modernized the Bible's language! No more struggling through the archaic phrases of the King James Version— "Verily, verily I say unto thee, thou hast hurt thine mother, deeply."

After the intense phone call, I reached for the New Testament resting on my dorm shelf. I had memorized the entire list of Bible books at thirteen alongside thirty-five other confirmation students from our Lutheran church.

Every Saturday morning, we gathered with the minister to memorize what felt like trivial information just so we could partake in those tiny communion wine cups once a month.

Regrettably, we never learned anything practical about wine. That was a lesson I had to figure out myself in high school.

Trust me, avoid drinking Boone's Farm strawberry wine the night before you’re scheduled to sit in the church choir loft, just a few feet from the scent of two hundred communion cups the next morning.

In my quest for direction, I opened my father’s gift to the beginning of Matthew.

They say you should start at the beginning, right? Unfortunately, instead of wisdom, I encountered a long genealogy: "This is the record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham..." and it continued for what felt like ages until I reached the familiar story of Jesus' birth, which I could recite by heart after years of church Christmas pageants.

Frustrated, I tossed the New Testament back onto the shelf.

What was I to do? In my desperation, I sought advice from my roommate, even though we barely interacted, living in a space that felt more like a prison cell.

I can’t recall her name, but I do remember she was quite controlling. In our first week, she insisted we get matching bedspreads and an area rug, disregarding my preferences despite us splitting the cost.

The rug she chose was so cheap that my socks would cling to it like Velcro every time I walked. The bedspreads, decorated with oversized cartoon animals, made our room look like it belonged to toddlers.

She wasn’t the best source of advice—especially since she was also engaged to a guy three years her senior, living two hours away. She frequently skipped Friday classes to visit him, often returning late on Sunday or even into Monday.

When I confided in her about possibly returning my engagement ring and ending things with Donn, she shouted, "That's just cruel! How could you even think about that? Don’t let your parents dictate your choices!"

Her reprimand reminded me of David, a summer fling from my junior year in high school. I don’t count him as a serious boyfriend since it was a brief, casual encounter and he lived out of town.

David was a charming blonde from South Dakota, driving a baby blue Mustang. We met in June, and by mid-July, I was wearing his class ring.

My father disapproved of David. He claimed it was because David didn’t come to the door to pick me up, and that his car was always a mess. It was a strange criticism coming from Dad, who worked in construction and had a perpetually muddy truck.

My mother didn’t like David either. He was older and lived alone in a rundown rental house across the Illinois border. They likely worried I would be tempted to go into his bedroom, but that wasn’t my style.

I visited his place once to grab a jacket, and the sight of dirty dishes and overflowing trash made me bolt back outside.

"Nice place," I lied. "I’ll wait for you out here."

I genuinely liked David, but I didn’t want conflict with my parents, especially as I was about to enter my senior year. I needed a local boyfriend for homecoming and prom.

When summer ended, we sat in his Mustang outside my house, and I handed back his ring. "I can't date you anymore."

I kissed him goodbye and left. When I turned for one last look, his ring flew past my head and landed in the grass. His parting words were, "How long will you let your parents control your life?"

I never saw him or the ring again, despite spending hours searching for it the next day. Here I was again, grappling with the same dilemma: "Who would I disappoint, my parents or my fiancé?"

My mother’s words still lingered, filling me with doubt about the engagement. Yet, it was oddly easy to push her voice aside when she was 150 miles away, especially with a nagging feeling that if I didn’t marry Donn, I would miss out on something significant. I had no clue what that could be, but I felt compelled to discover it.

I never anticipated that "something significant" would emerge just before the wedding when Donn changed his career, thrusting me into the unexpected role of a minister’s wife at just eighteen.

WHAT ON EARTH?

Read another excerpt on Medium.com.

Releasing Religion: A Minister's Wife Goes Rogue is an inspiring tale of one woman's quest for freedom and self-identity, living on her own terms. Available on Amazon.

Chapter 2: Seeking Wisdom

In this enlightening video titled "Wisdom vs. Foolishness," Pastor Jamie Rasmussen explores the distinction between wisdom and folly, emphasizing the importance of making informed choices in life.

The video "How Do You Deal with Fools?" delves into Proverbs 1:7 and Psalm 39:8-9, offering insights on navigating the challenges posed by foolishness in our lives.