Chapter 1: The First Five Days

As I conclude the first week of my 100-Day Project, I'm compelled to evaluate my mental state. Numerous questions swirl in my mind:

"Can I truly accomplish this?"

"Am I adequately prepared?"

"Do I possess the determination to see it through?"

"Why do I falter at the first misstep?"

"When will my intentional errors transform into genuine mistakes?"

These inquiries barely scratch the surface of my thoughts. I've observed my eating and drinking habits, jotting down notes along the way. Despite establishing an eating schedule and guidelines, I didn't hesitate to indulge my cravings. What insight did I gain? I lack respect for the nourishing food provided to us. To me, food feels less like a blessing and more like an easily accessible option. Living just ten minutes from multiple grocery stores, I can satisfy my hunger at any time, whether it's a meal or a quick snack.

Reflecting on my trainer's recent message to our workout group helps me understand my situation better. She highlighted many issues I faced leading up to this week: low energy, dehydration from insufficient water intake, increased consumption of sugary foods, and the subsequent weight gain that left me feeling sluggish and emotionally drained. She pointed out that my low energy stemmed from not pushing myself hard enough, while the added weight weighed me down physically and mentally. The lack of hydration caused fatigue, and reintroducing sugary foods led to energy crashes. Emotional stress compounded these challenges, making it difficult to progress.

Her final question resonated deeply: "How is this helping you?" The truth is, it’s not. However, it's easy to fall back on excuses like "I lack the time, money, or energy." I often find myself uttering phrases like, "I'm exhausted," or "I really need a nap." Yet I know these habits aren't contributing to my goals. After embarking on this journey two years ago, I find myself stagnant, largely due to my unwillingness to shed the habits that brought me here.

I often start strong, only to lose motivation when faced with setbacks. I let the opinions of others sway my actions, neglecting to heed constructive advice. This introspection is precisely the dialogue my trainer wanted us to engage in. The barrier to my success is me—my own mindset and habits.

Drinking enough water feels challenging because sweet beverages are so tempting. We've all heard claims like, "Just ten minutes a day will get you the body of your dreams," or "Regular workouts are key." I've followed these recommendations, committing to healthy eating and workouts with my trainer. I logged my meals when possible and shared progress photos. Yet, every time I step on the scale, the results are disheartening—my weight fluctuates without significant progress.

When I hear others share their success stories, frustration boils inside me. "Why isn't this working for me? I've put in the effort!" Deep down, I know that I’m the only one responsible for my lack of progress. Witnessing others succeed can either inspire or demoralize me, leading to complacency.

Recognizing my flawed mindset is a breakthrough. This past week was a mix of failures and small victories, but those successes are etched in my memory. I can't pinpoint where my renewed motivation for this 100-day challenge originated, but it surged within me, prompting me to plan my meals carefully. Although I still indulged in some forbidden foods, my increased effort was palpable.

On Monday, I felt so energized that I stayed awake until 7 AM the next day. Typically, I'd expect to doze off on the couch during my client sessions, but I remained alert. Despite needing rest on my scheduled off day, I canceled my classes to recharge. Thursday offered a fresh start, but I overindulged in snacks during my client's session and later at home. By Friday, I had completely derailed, indulging in a variety of unhealthy foods, just before weigh-in day.

As I reflect on my eating habits, I realize the importance of documenting my choices. I'm aware that tomorrow’s weigh-in may not be pleasant, but I refuse to let it defeat me. Writing this has invigorated my spirit for the upcoming week.

I’m determined to do better. This weekend, I plan to help my aunt with meal prep, ensuring my meals align with healthier choices. My water goal is to drink 64 ounces each day, as I've struggled to stay hydrated this week. I aim to avoid self-sabotage and target a modest weight loss of half a pound. Although I faltered with intermittent fasting, I won’t let two days of inconsistency derail my progress.

I must silence the voice of procrastination and laziness. Tomorrow is a new opportunity! Let's seize it!

In Over My Head (LIVE) - Jenn Johnson | We Will Not Be Shaken offers a powerful reminder of resilience and determination.

The Official Lyric Video for In Over My Head (Jenn Johnson) serves as a motivational anthem for overcoming personal challenges.