Supporting Others

Most of us have friends or at least supportive figures in our lives, such as parents, even if they aren't always close companions. If you've ever cared deeply for someone, you likely understand what it means to show up for them.

Consider the scenario where a friend is moving or needs to talk. The expected response is clear: help them pack, listen attentively, or even lend them a small favor like an egg.

What do we call these acts of kindness? They require effort. Assisting a friend takes time and energy, just like listening or lending an item, no matter how small.

The Work Behind Relationships

It might sound cynical to frame relationships in terms of work, but the reality is that all connections demand effort. This holds true for romantic relationships and friendships alike. However, work doesn't have to be a negative concept. The saying "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life" illustrates that when passion is involved, the effort feels less burdensome.

Much like physical exercise, which can be demanding, engaging in activities you love makes the effort worthwhile.

You Must Invest in Others

Relationships necessitate effort because they require us to "show up." This means investing time, energy, or even resources to assist someone else. Many of us excel at being there for others, willingly providing support when needed. Yet, we often find it challenging to extend that same kindness to ourselves.

Showing Up for Yourself

Just as we show up for others, showing up for ourselves means taking the necessary actions to achieve personal happiness and growth. This includes:

• Exercising regularly
• Eating a balanced diet
• Practicing mindfulness
• Cultivating friendships
• Seeking therapy when necessary
• Asking for help when needed

These are all suggestions we readily offer to friends in need, yet we frequently neglect to apply them to our own lives.

Acknowledging Timeless Wisdom

When we encounter struggles and seek solutions, we often discover age-old advice: spend time outdoors, maintain healthy relationships, and find fulfilling work. None of this is groundbreaking, yet we often fall short in implementing these practices fully.

Why is it challenging to be our own best friend?

Because it requires effort! We tend to succumb to laziness, indulgence, and a reluctance to be vulnerable.

Jordan Peterson once noted, "Can you improve? Yes, but only if you have the humility to set the bar low." This encapsulates the struggle with our own egos and expectations.

The Challenge of Self-Reflection

Interestingly, we easily recognize areas of improvement in others, such as someone struggling with weight. It's simple to suggest that with the right approach, they could achieve better health. However, when it comes to ourselves, the weight of emotions often clouds our reasoning.

Taking Responsibility for Your Growth

Many Stoics believe in the importance of mutual support in our journeys toward self-improvement. However, ultimately, the responsibility for your well-being lies with you. While loved ones can provide support, your happiness is your own responsibility. When you face challenges, it is up to you to take action and initiate change.

To conclude, here's a profound reflection from Seneca: "I have learned to be a friend to myself." This wisdom encapsulates the essence of self-care and personal responsibility.

If you're interested in exploring these themes further, check out insights on The Strong Stoic Podcast available on all major platforms.